A new layout is on the way

but i fuckin can't seem to get the colors/opacity and the images quite good enough.

i wanna die.

The Tikoy Plate

is in its beta stages

feel free to drop by

The Plate

Patronizing me

can pls stop patronizing me.

i am not as great as that woman okay!

the more you expect from me the more i fail.

just tell me the truth and don't cover it with bits and pieces of candies and chocolates..

i have anger management issues.

lay offa mi!

Kawawa naman si tk...

Phone rings.

Ciel: hello
Riot: si tk?

Ciel: andun sa labas kausap ni uncle dong, nag aaway sila kanina eh
Riot: ah okay, sige hayaan mo n lng mag bonding ung mag ama muna.

Ciel: kawawa naman si tk pinapagalitan ata nila.
Riot: ...

Ciel: ...
Riot: hindi si tk kawawa. sila ang kawawa kay tk.





all i can say is


O RLY?

What you always wanted

fine then, i always have no say in the matter. i always will be the one to blame. i will never be happy.

goodbye.

Gray Matter

Its hard when you have to live up to the expectations of society.

Why do have to comply with what others want you to?

Who wrote the rules anyway and why must you live by them?

why is it hard to walk down the street holding the hand of the one you love and not worry about anyone giving you the eye.

why are people quick to judge? and why should they care either?

is life too boring that you have to talk about other people too? is life too uneventful that you feel the need to judge every single person that walks past you?

man.. you should get a life.

The CSS zen garden

i have always been defiant. Stubborn. Won't take no for an answer. But it has to stop. I need to ace CSS and web. I'd rather be a creator. I take joy in creation. I take pride in creating. I want to be a designer. No.. I am a designer. An artist. It took a lot of pushing to get me to accept that there is no other better form of expression than pictures. Its all about how you present your ideas.

I must learn CSS. Must learn CSS...

NOOOOOO.. i must ace css...

this.. inspired me the most.

i know i want to make something like this.

and CSS will help me. of course i need to brush up on other skills too but mainly, this was made with CSS. so i am hopeful.

Math exams

i went out to attend an exam at an office i'm applying at. and surprisingly enough, not really but still... the exam given to me was a big fucking math problem.. ten big fucking math problems. it wasn't hard or anything cause they let us use calculators but i found it weird. i have applied for different jobs before and not nice was i faced with math problems. but i guess this is how they gauge their potential employees.

in 20 minutes, 5 minutes less than the required time, i was able to complete the exam and i'm confident with the answers i gave them. i was interviewed again by one of their HR people and she told me that someone would call me on monday to give me the results of my application. if they forget to contact me, then i'd probably just have to text wendy for the results.

4pm i'm home already, just in time. Because a few minutes after that, it rained. and it still is.

The one who held the storm

after the job interview i was scheduled for, i went straight to the place where my boyfriend stays. i know he's busy with the web layout he needs to refine but i went there anyway, just cause he said its alright and i don't really have much to do here. plus the fact that in spite of everything, i do miss him.

i've been on this diet plan for more or less two weeks now and i have been faithfully following the doctor's orders. but, for some weird turn of events, i partook a few "controlled substances" today. i had a slurpee and some ginger ale.

it was weird because on the way to 7-11, two women walked up to me and asked me if they could just borrow some time and invite me to their newly opened saloon for a free sample of their services. on normal days, i would have loved to go there but i was on an errand: i was tasked to buy some slurpee cause the house is too damn hot and we need to cool ourselves a little.. (personally if it were my house, i would have loved to just prance around in my undies, but it wasn't my house and i was wearing a long sleeved black shirt a black skirt and a pair of knee socks. uh, yeah.. i was wearing that to my job interview and passed hahaha!) so i went off bought slurpee (which i took down even before i got back to his place cause it was a really really hot day. so that's how i got hold of the first "controlled" substance for that day. a few hours later, he was hungry. he went out to get some "food" but, he brought back a liter of ginger ale and some chips. yes! i had some potato chips too! now i wanna kill myself.

as i was hanging out with him, of course i'd talk, i can't just sit there and stare at the computer. somehow, the conversation got to a part where i'm dead and needs an epic burial. it was time to go home. night has fallen. so i went back here. i asked him a very big favor, that when i die, i want him to bury me.

i'll bury you in the highest hilltop;
and make a shrine;
"here lies the one who held the storm"

Beyond Words

"he recognized her from the past. her hair cut short. her clothes all black. a witch, perhaps, could help where a goddess could not."

there was a time when a mortal man stumbled upon a goddess. the creature was neither intimidated nor scared of the greatness of the woman. maybe it was her eyes.. maybe it was her voice.. or maybe.. just maybe because she was living inside a cage. the creature visited her everyday telling her of stories outside. she listened, sang her share of stories. agreed. disagreed. argued. they became friends nonetheless..

she always stood by the the tiny window in her prison of gold. waiting. anticipating, when will he arrive? when will i hear his stories again. of life. of love. of death.. one day he came carrying a huge axe. the goddess was taken aback by his appearance, hostile it seemed.. but he gently asked her to move aside. so she took a step back and watched as he destroyed the lock. strangely enough, she felt something. which was strange, because her kind, do not feel. she did not have much time to think either as he grabbed her hand and took her away. she was free. he freed her. then she stumbled and fell to the ground. he stopped and looked at her. weak. defenseless. she stared at him pleading - "help me get up" but he was in such a hurry that he left without her. his village was burning and he thought the goddess could help him. but seeing her fall to the ground, asking him for help.

his faith waver. so he walked. to the east. and found a woman sitting by a rock. he recognized her from the past. her hair cut short. her clothes all black. a witch, perhaps, could help where a goddess could not. he walked to her and spoke in a loud voice. then he noticed.. she was crying. he tried to comfort her forgetting about his burning village and the goddess. then an ogre came. he tried to defend the witch but she pushed him to the ground to greet the ogre with a kiss. and then he realized what just happened..

he remembered his village.. he remembered the fallen goddess. he ran back and was surprised to see his village still intact. shaken.. but nonetheless safe. his friends from the village greeted him and told him they managed to put the fire out by themselves. a few houses burned but fortunately, no one died. he was so happy that he ran back to the golden cage where he usually talks to the goddess about his life and his village.. but found it shattered and broken. he then remembered that he took her out of that cage. they ran.. but she fell down.. and now.. her cage.. it wasn't really a cage to keep her locked in.. it was a cage to keep everyone else locked out.. that she may be safe from all harm and that she be kept clean from all the filth of the world. he went looking for her..

she wasn't hard to find.. he knew she was weakened.. so she couldn't have gone far. and there she was just beyond the hill east of the village, not far from where he met the witch and the ogre. he hardly recognized her.. her clothes were dirty, her face as dirty.. but as he approached.. she saw him.. and the faintest smile appeared on her lips. he called out to her but she did not answer. he ran towards her and her eyes lit up with joy at seeing an old friend. he talked and talked and talked about what happened to him.. but she did not say a word. he thought she hated him.. for leaving. he thought she forgot him.. when he left.. but, she did not. he knew she had a lot to say... but how could she? she has lost her voice.

Procrastination

Is an art. I thought I have perfected that art a long time ago.. but it seems to me i need more training.

Delaying the inevitable, life.. death.. and despair, that's procrastination.

Here's the product of my procrastinating.. or is it? Although i do have reasons why I was unable to finish this today, i won't go into them and blame them.. I'd just have to accept this defeat for now.

It's just sad.. I won't go into depression.. or at least I'd never admit it. I do want to be liked by people despite my best efforts to make the world think I HATESssSSss it.

I desperately need friends.. But I'm just too cynical right now to trust people i just met.