today, i made peace with God.

due to my optimistic nature... even while i'm all depressed and sad.. i still find it in me to smile.. again.. no, not the sadistic evil smile i usually give my enemies before i kill them. a smile that lets people know i am happy. happiness is subjective. we are happy if we wish to be happy and no amount of outside influences can tell me i should be sad.

no movie, tv show, book, or song can make me think i should be sad right now given my current situation..

i cry sometimes, its alright.. i even cry all day. but after all's been said and done. i am still me. maria.. katrina.. dave... desipeda. and being me, i am not one to waste my time sulking around when i can have fun. there is someone out there.. thinking of me right now. not just one person.. there are a lot of them.. i can deny it all i want but truth is i do have friends. and its more than i'll ever need.

i'm going out today.. and do just that.

what's a little company turning me down.. its just one company. who cares about it. i have bigger fish to fry.

just like grandma said.. in a song i love so much.

"we can't get to no better days, unless we make it through the night.. "