i'm not an addict

"It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel aliveIf you don't have it you're on the other side"

i remember a friend from years passed. he made me promise to never partake of alcohol again lest i do it in his presence. because i did a terrible thing to him. i made him bear witness to my drunk en nature. you see, when i am drunk, i tend to cast away fear. i become reckless in the process. i feel heightened emotions. it was the first time he saw me cry.. come to think of it.. it was the only time he saw me at my weakest.. yet most honest.

it was at the party held after the awarding ceremony at a classmate's house. everyone was there. me, my friends, my officers, my friends... i drank every glass handed to me. it was delicious.. and fun. i remember being very lively at one point then very quiet after that. i was running around.. hitting people.. throwing ice at my officers.. playing basketball with some others.. i remember constantly falling down.. crying.. running.. talking.. screaming.. singing like i own the place.. dancing like a stripper.. and then.. finally falling asleep on the couch. i distinctly remember seeing his worried face before my eyes closed. the last words i heard were his, calling out to my friends.

i woke up with my friends looking at me, wiping a wet towel on my brow, asking me if i was alright. i'm lucky i have women friends back there. they watched over me when i passed out. they said i had been sleeping for almost two hours and the party is over. they said we needed to go home, the others have already gone home. so i stood up and scanned the area, looking for him. but he wasn't there anymore, i figured the idiot probably passed out, too. "i'll just talk to him tomorrow at school" so i did not bother to drop by his house to thank him for calling reinforcements. so i went home.. threw up.. and went to sleep with a big ass headache.
at school, i saw him walking at the corridor on the way to his class. i ran to him and he said "hey, you're okay now" i said "yeah, thanks. i'm sorry for being a burden" he shook his head and smiled, "no, it was no big deal i had fun looking after you. just promise me one thing.. " "sure."
"katrina, promise me you'll never drink a single drop of alcohol, unless i'm there with you" so i nodded my head in agreement.

two years after that incident lone after we last saw each other. i broke the promise. one new year's eve, i drank to my heart's content. at first i felt bad for betraying that promise i made to a good friend. but i got over it when i saw him again recently.. he's changed alot and its like he's a different person. he's not the friend i once knew. i was heartbroken. but at the very least i did not feel bad about breaking a promise to him.

then last night.. the words that i never thought i'd hear again.. from the lips that kissed me and stole my heart. "katrina... don't get drunk ever" i said "i'm not drunk" and he said "i didn't say you're drunk now, i just said don't get drunk. just don't" this time around.. i intend to keep that promise.